Album Review: Valosta Varjoon - Boarisch Grattlig
Hail, fellow metalheads! Today, we gather in the dark abyss of The Heavy Metal Citadel to discuss the latest offering from Valosta Varjoon, a black metal force hailing from the depths of Neumarkt in der Oberpfalz, Germany. These heathens howl about Beers, Melancholy, and their hatred for the human race and life, so you can’t go wrong. Their latest album is a refreshing elixir for my blackened soul!
Valosta Varjoon's unapologetic stance is crystal clear right from the start as they state, "Valosta Varjoon doesn't give a fuck about your NS/RA bullshit," they boldly declare their disregard for divisive ideologies. Cheers to that, for they invite fans from every corner of the world to drink with them, regardless of cultural backgrounds. I mean I’m still definitely going to bug them about my political stance if I ever see them live!
The vocals on this album hit you like a relentless hailstorm. Raspy yet perfectly produced, they unleash a raw power that resonates deep within. Now, let's dive into the tracks and uncover the unholy treasures that lie within.
The opening track sets the stage with a Bavarian drinking song of some kind. Picture this: a pig's guttural symphony intertwined with the melodies, like a sonic feast for the twisted. As a self-proclaimed pigman enthusiast, I was instantly hooked! Unless that grunt wasn’t a hog in which case I’m still in but only slightly less!
The album cover itself is a sight to behold, a true testament to their Bavarian pride. A mighty lion hoisting the Bavarian checkered flag, savoring a beer, puffing on a cigar, and rocking a tiny Tyrolean hat. It's a perfect blend of metal and folklore, creating a visual experience that captures the essence of Valosta Varjoon's sonic assault - like a German Black Metal Municipal Waste or something and you kind of get that vibe from their photo where it just looks like a photoshop of the same guy on both sides…see here...
While maintaining their allegiance to traditional black metal, the band dares to tread a little away from the blackened path as there is a bit more of a melodic and at times almost Death-like echos to the songs & riffs. These audacious souls sprinkle their relentless riffage with captivating nuances. And let's not forget the thunderous drums! Listen to "In dieser Welt" to witness the symphony of epic drumming perfectly entwined with tighter guitar work.
"Bierdimpfl," my friends, is an absolute jam! It kicks off heavier and grungier than the previous tracks, transporting you back to a time when cassette tapes were the currency of rebellion. It's as if the recording was unearthed from a narrow hallway, tucked away on a stolen 90s tape you snagged from your unsuspecting mom's collection. Nostalgia reigns supreme!
Now, let's discuss "Der arme Ritter." Around the 47-minute mark, this track serves up a delectable breakdown that hits you like a blackened sledgehammer. It's an unexpected treat that teases the realm of DSBM, dissolving into a cleaner sweep as the album gracefully concludes into it’s perhaps truer and more reflective realm.
In conclusion, my fellow Citadelians, Valosta Varjoon's album is a dark adventure worth embarking upon. But what truly captivates me is their attitude and personality. Their music is an extension of their unyielding spirit, defying the norm and embracing the unity of metal. For their audaciousness, their Bavarian pride, and their dedication to unfiltered, unapologetic black metal, I raise my devil horns and award this album three \m/\m/\m/ out of five. Keep raising hell, Valosta Varjoon!
Written by: Chort the Crop Investor
“Hi, I’m Chort I infest crops and listen to Black Metal. I’ve currently invested most of my life savings into tracking down the REAL Nattramn and telling him how much I love his voice.”
